Milk Lane Mama – Part 1

Breastfeeding. Ah! It’s a bit like Marmite*, only more controversial. And quite why it has this effect on us is a long and convoluted story. Let me jot down a few of the reactions my breastfeeding has elicited:

1. (British) Sweet old lady (80) : “Oh, you’re doing the very thing for your baby! Isn’t it just wonderful?”
2. (British) Sweet old lady’s son – my landlord (60) : while I nursed 2-week old Layla in my arms, he looked on, all smiles and a twinkle in his eyes, and made quite a bizarre/repulsive sucking action/sound-effect! (I was still quite shy at that stage about my once sexy boobs now being the sole source of nutrition and hydration for a perpetually hungry little soul – so my landlord’s response left me feeling confused and embarrassed, even though now I laugh at the memory and wish I knew what I know now: how you feed your baby, whether breast/bottle, has got nothing to do with anyone and their usually ignorant and self-centred opinions!)
3. (British) Health visitor (30ish): “You’re doing it all wrong! You must do it like this.” (Very uncompassionate shoving and repositioning around of my aching mammaries and the fragile little doll of my daughter, one week old, who I protected like a raging lioness! Health Visitor insisted on ‘fixing’ us even though Layla was clearly content and putting on weight at a healthy rate. Result: one cranky, windy bub, two very, very sore nipples and a back that ached like it had never ached before.)
4. Friend: “Lisa, you are doing SUCH an amazing job! Don’t ever doubt your instincts as a mother – and if you ever need support of any kind, get hold of La Leche!” (Which I did as soon as I got back to the UK when Layla was 6 months old : since finding in these other mothers the most incredible source of support, medically-founded information and friendship, I also learnt to put aside all those train-your-child-to-be-independent-before-they’re-ready books and FINALLY trust myself as Layla’s mother.

Anyway, this is just the tip of a massively huge iceberg which I’ll be elaborating on in the next few weeks’ worth of posts, but in the meantime, please know that I consider myself extremely lucky to have had such an easy experience of breastfeeding, and that in no way am I critical of those who could not, or would not, breastfeed. I firmly believe that each mother and child is unique, not just as individuals, but in their relationship with each other and how they function as a unit within a family and the bigger picture of the world – and if breastfeeding or bottle-feeding is best, this is the mother’s right and choice.
(* The initial phrase that came to mind was: “you either love it, or you hate it” – and then while I was lying down with Layla for a nap, I remembered this even more apt one: “Marmite, but Pa won’t!”)