A rather morbid topic lies below, but a topic that is really important to think about. I read an article entitled Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, and although I normally stay away from such topics, this one conveys a message that I’ve often thought about seriously, not specifically the death part, but more the getting older and looking back at regret as I see this as being an incredibly important thing to be aware of.
I always hear people moaning about their jobs, or wishing they could travel more, or wishing they’d told someone how they felt.. the list goes on and everyone can relate to someone else saying one of these things, but how conscious are you of what you’re saying to people. Let’s look at me for a second; I’m not afraid to admit that I work far too hard and a lot of people tell me that I do, but does that make me stop? No. I then read an article that communicates to us the top 5 regrets people have and I see number 2 on the list points to my exact situation – it’s a wake up call!
Take a read of these 5 reasons and their explanations:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
When you turn 60 or approach the end of your life, could you see yourself saying one of the 5 things above? Seriously, remove your hands from the keyboard and think about this for a second, read each one carefully, think about your life and if you see yourself relating to one of the 5 reasons then it’s probably time to make changes in your life before it’s too late. You don’t have to the 20 years old to do this, you could be 60 already, there’s always time to change course and try something different that will assist you in approaching those latter years feeling more fulfilled as a person and not harboring a large amount of regret.
I love working, it keeps me motivated, it keeps me passionate and I guess I’m lucky for this, but I do question myself as to whether reason number 2 will hit me.
Are you conscious of the direction your life is going in?
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