All posts in Women

I spotted these 2 ladies wearing dresses that are totally lust worthy…

* Scarlet Johansson in the new fall/winter ads for Mango – The ads are very “Mad Men” inspired. Both dresses are gorgeous – but I am in lust with the patterned, 50′s inspired dress.

* Jessica Alba at the Chanel and Christian Dior Haute Couture fall/winter shows at Paris fashion week – Jessica has been wearing such lovely cute dresses lately. I wish I owned both of the above dresses, especially the pink floral one.

What do you think of the above dresses?

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

(Uncle Ben, Peter Parker’s dad-figure in Spiderman 1)

When I heard Chris was spaying Calla and Bella (the kitties), a quick thought process ran through my mind.

1. Chris is having his kittens spayed.
2. I’m so glad he cares enough about them to do that.
3. People who care about animals and look out for their best interests are awesome.
4. People who care about people less fortunate than themselves and look out for their best interests are awesome.

Calla (Cal, Cally, Cal Meister) and Bella (Bells, Belly, Bellaroo)

It got me thinking…

We (you and I) have been born into the most privileged position there is. We are humans. People. We’re at the top of the food chain. Our ability to think and reason allows us to be in control over the world, even if it’s just the “small world” of our home, or work. We have power over people, animals, and the environment. (That might be your family, your staffie and your garden). How do we use that power? Do we use it to make life a happier event for the world around us or do we use it for our own selfish desires?

With great power comes great responsibility.

There are normal people around us in everyday life who live in the awareness of their power and exercise it with great responsibility. That practise of love and selflessness, and those people, are everyday awesomeness. They are:

• People who fight governments and massive, systematic corporations to protect the earth’s forests, clean waters, ecosystems, animals, people and resources.

• People who choose carefully what foods and products they buy and use.

• People who make the time to volunteer at wildlife rehab centres/community feeding schemes/ HIV and Aids clinics/the SPCA/Hospice etc.

• People who choose not to shoot at the vervet monkeys that got into their house (again) and messed in the kitchen (again), because they realise they invaded the monkeys’ territory, not the other way around.

• People who’re involved in upliftment initiatives empowering underprivileged people in poor communities, teaching them business principles and income-generating skills.

• People who rescue feral cats from a life on the streets, being eaten alive by fleas, abused by vagrants and run over by careless drivers. People who give them a loving home, make them part of the family and make sure their potential fate doesn’t befall another innocent creature.

This kind of everyday awesomeness is so possible, so achievable. It’s a decision we make. It’s a decision that Calla and Bella have benefited from. Using our great power responsibly requires only the stamping out of our own selfishness. What are you doing (or what can you do today) to better and “happier” a life?

Now that I am a mama, I seem destined to begin my every blog post with something about Layla – and today is yet another opportunity to wax lyrical about this magnificent little soul who has changed my life, admittedly by turning it upside down and inside out, thereby teaching me how to permanently trash all that futile baggage I hunkered down under for too many years, and how to cherish every aspect of my{self}. Where before I whinged incessantly about all sorts of crap, suddenly I am so much more able, efficient, confident and productive! Quite how she’s managed to do in a few short months what all sorts of self-help gurus and their books spectacularly failed to do, despite their money-back guaranteed promises, I’m not quite sure… But, Layla has transformed my every moment, making it more richly delightful, more deeply felt and… endlessly more purposeful.

As our departure for our Groot Trek back to South Africa has drawn closer, Layla has grown increasingly, desperately clingy. I’d never have thought such a young, little soul could grasp the idea of such a monumental move between countries, but she most certainly has! The arrival of the boxes triggered a sudden rush of excited packing – and much more talk about ‘seeing Granny and Grampa’, discussions about the house we’ll be renting and the car we so easily purchased an entire universe away.

When we were on holiday last year (or have I already told you this story?) in South Africa, we made the decision that we would be coming home as soon as we possibly could: i.e. 6 – 12 months. And in my ecstasy and warped delight, I started packing up our little house the minute we got back from Heathrow! This premature packing caused the most frustrating level of chaos I’ve ever had to live with – and I would definitively recommend starting the packing-up procedure about three months before your flight whooshes forever away off English soil. (There’s nothin’ like a wee bit o’ drama to make you feel my unrelenting JOY! WHOOHOOO!!!) I’d start with by sitting down with the inhabitants of your household and making a list. i.e. checking out when your MOT expires on your car (so you don’t end up paying for one JUST before you leave) and when your broadband/TV/phone contract ends (on Wednesday, Virgin attempted a blatant daylight mugging of me by trying to charge me 150 GBP for cancelling our account with them. And that the only way we could pay our final bill + cancellation fee was if they emailed me a bill 14 days after our broadband had been stopped. The oke on the end of the line couldn’t quite understand why it would be such an impossibility for us to pay the bill being out of the country! What’s so damn opaque about that?! Eventually, after much prodding, I got him to use his noggin – I could now phone up on the day my internet was stopped and pay over the phone with my debit card. What a blerry mission. Sheesh!!!)

Another list that I would suggest you make is : “Stuff We Would Like To Have in SA, But We Can Live Without Right Now.” Stuff like that sweet little antique glass bird you snapped up for 50p at the local carboot sale, or those perfectly quaint silver ducks from the gentle old soul of a man, perched in his wheelchair and so proud of his wares! And then, send those treasures home so you can have them as you literally arrive in South Africa. (My boxes are only going to arrive in Cape Town long after we’ve already moved up to Grahamstown… ***Note To Self: remember to write that nomination for Mom AND leave my passport with her so she can actually receive the boxes when they’re delivered!***) Quite how one manages to live in a civilised manner if you ship your furniture back home is beyond me. Do you rent a furnished plekkie for the last 3 months in the UK while your bed, chairs etc. sail the Seven Seas?

Frustratingly, my internet and phone line are being stopped from Wednesday and though not having access to ‘the world’ freaked me out (sleepless tossing/turning, knotty stomach, sweaty palms) like the prospect of a druggie going cold-turkey, I’ve seen the flip-side of the coin – and it is far more peaceful and focused, and I’ll be able to carry Layla through the tumult of our big move. She is my world, and all my internet ‘friends’ and pseudo-commitments will survive without me! (*wry chuckle*)

My next post for iMod will be written, glass of vino poured by my dad, or coffee made like only my mom can make coffee, beside me, my heart full to the brim with Cape Town, and Layla (blessedly) playing with any number of her adoring fans who’re counting down the days till we step off that plane, our life’s possessions stuffed and shoved to bursting in our bags so we can be part of our family and culture and memories again. (As usual, a little smattering of melodrama makes my point nicely! *wink*)

While Daddy snoozed 8 glorious, uninterrupted hours in the next room, Layla and I battled her teething pain with lots of back-rubs, tummy-patting, soothing words and cuddles. Oh yes – and let’s not forget, plenty ‘moh-lee’!  (As articulate as Layla is, her little tongue isn’t yet able to insert the ‘k’ to officially say ‘milkies’!)

Syringing sickeningly sweet Calpol, in the middle of the night, into the back of your miserable, half-asleep, pain-ridden child’s mouth requires nerves of steel, a surgeon’s precision and at least eight strong arms that can nimbly pin down the shockingly strong thrashings of the multi-limbed toddler-machine in your lap! Layla reacts with such angry shock that she ends of choking on the medicine, even sometimes vomiting it all back up! And that’s why when her teething is at its worst, I will rather snuggle with her and soothe her with my voice, touch and the miraculous cure-all of mohlee. (For each year that a child is breastfed, the chance of dental malocclusions diminish by 40%! And of course there are those children that have been breastfed till 4 who may still need orthodontic intervention, but it’s such a relief to have these nifty little facts on hand when I get shot with those dratted ‘what?!you’re-STILL-breastfeeding?!’ glares!) Also, I would much rather Layla learn to approach people for comfort and succour, than substances or objects. But again, whatever works for you (*wink*)!

When swine-flu paid its overrated but nevertheless still quite nasty visitation upon us, I was terrified that Layla would die (thanks to the sensationalising effects of the media!) but because my body was producing the antibodies, Layla received her very own, private immunisation from me, and hardly suffered at all! She received all the hydration and nourishment she needed from my milk as well, whereas other food or formula/milk would only have exacerbated the vomiting/diarrhoea. In non-Western cultures where breasts are not hyper-sexualised and mothers parent their children in the ‘attachment’ way (i.e. babies and toddlers are carried/worn in slings for most of the day, they sleep with the mother/in a family bed etc.) and there is no cultural ‘norm’ pressurising the child independent before it is ready, children are breastfed until around 6 years old. And – in a marvellously synchronous way, this is the time when a child’s immune system is fully fledged! So when my mom double-checked to make sure we would have an excellent medical aid upon our return to South Africa (in just 2o days’ time!), I could place her overwhelming concern in the Western context where very few children are breastfed, and then usually only until 6 months of age. (Let me just jump off my high-horse to quickly tell you that I was only going to breastfeed till Layla was 6 months – but only because that seemed to be the norm. It was Layla that decided she wanted to keep milking for all I was worth – and I am so, so thankful she did! She has taught me HOW she needs to be parented – and I now look back in amused humility at those last few months before my she was born and all the very definite ideas and expectations I had put together into a disappointingly unrealistic ‘manual of motherhood’ in my head…)

Last week I promised to post some resources that’ve helped and encouraged me along this breastfeeding journey. So, without further ado, here is a list of my favourite websites and books:

• La Leche League: get in touch with them BEFORE you give birth – don’t wait until you’re struggling like me when Layla was 6 months! These very special, kind and informed women have given me the confidence to be Layla’s Mommy that so many well-meaning others unintentionally robbed me of! Here is their page of resources.
• A doctor and mother’s blog with compassionately explained and medically/scientifically backed-up advices: Dr Momma.
• “Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain” by Sue Gerhardt. (ESSENTIAL reading!!!!)
• “The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting Your High-Need Child from Birth to Five” by William & Martha Sears. (Here is a link to the summarised info on their brilliantly resourceful website, www.askdrsears.com)
• “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” and “The Motherly Art of Breastfeeding” (wonderfully informative and incredibly reassuring reading!) You can buy both of these books via the La Leche website, and also probably through Kalahari.net.

Please get in touch if you’d like to pick my brains about fine art of mohlee (*wink*)!

Previous Posts:

• Part 1 – The beginning
• Part 2 – Reality Bites
• Part 3

Television has been called many things. The Devil. The Destroyer of Minds (and consequently worlds). People have even gone as far as to call it a waste of time. And I can’t help but agree with them (except for the Devil bit, that’s a bit much).

You cannot deny the amount of television that is created with no purpose but to entertain mindlessly. But what about shows that go beyond entertainment? Shows that teach, offer valuable life lessons? Do those shows exist? The truth is they do. Science-fiction shows are often the leaders in the pack, offering intellectual stimulation, while not bashing the principles and morals that we have carved as a society.

These lessons, are carefully woven into the fabric of the shows. Making it easy to take in and enjoyable to watch and learn.

1. Every life is sacred

In Startrek: The Next Generation, Captain Picard often talks about how every life is sacred. The Enterprise crew are always very careful when going on away missions (to ensure no life is taken or no interference is created), even a dying Romulan who needs a ‘marrow’ transplant to survive is given the best medical attention. No life is taken without serious thought and consideration. Often, lives are only taken when they are forced and no peaceful resolution can ensue. This is the attitude that needs to be applied through out our real world – violence is never a solution.

2. Don’t judge a book by its cover

In Stargate the Jaffa were seen as proud and mighty warriors of the Goa’uld. Throughout the ‘galaxy’ millions of people considered them murderers, savages and beasts. However, through the series, we learn of the struggle for their independence. Teal’c is a perfect example. Even though he was the First Prime of Apophis, he managed to escape and help defeat the overlord in the end. The sad thing was, years later, whenever someone saw the insignia on his head, they immediately cast him off as evil or bad. It is important, especially today, that we give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t judge someone by the way they look.

3. More isn’t necessarily better

As a society, we’re very eager to learn and constantly improve ourselves. We are constantly striving for the latest technology, however, this comes with a price. Our lack of love and pride in our natural resources is scary. In Stargate, the most peaceful race the team encounters is the Nox. At first, their abilities are doubted. Even though they live in  peaceful harmony with nature, the Nox had the ability to not only raise the dead but also to protect themselves far better then the humans: without weapons. At some point, we as a society have to say: enough is enough. A simpler, more beneficial life to our Planet, might be the answer.

What have you learnt from your favourite science-fiction show?

Kindness is underrated.

I spent the past weekend using some of my former talents. As it happens, I know how to connect a laptop, projector, dvd player and sound system and make it work. Properly.

I’m also au fait with a few presentation “softwares” and accustomed to the “big match temperament” required to run a (hopefully) flawless presentation via tacky fingers on a laptop with no mouse.

The greatest challenge for me was the back-breaking mission of having to set up, pack up and carry all the equipment between my guest room and the presentation venue six times throughout the weekend.

Today’s “everyday awesomeness” is this:

Although the course attendees had never met me before and I was essentially an intruder in their close-knit group, there were always a couple of guys (young and not so young) carrying speakers, cables and offering their masculine strength.

Lessons learnt:

1. Masculine strength is awesome. Especially when used to help others.
2. The smallest act of kindness can make a significant difference in someone’s life.
3. The old saying is as relevant today as it was two thousand years ago: do to others as you’d have them do to you.

Has someone done something maybe small, yet meaningful for you recently? More importantly, have you offered a kindness to someone else?